10 things you don’t realize you’re doing because you have low self-esteem

From the Personal Branding Blog

There’s a fine line between being humble and having low self-esteem.

The difference is all about how you perceive yourself. Having low self-esteem can silently influence our actions, often leading us to behave in ways we don’t even realize.

Guess what? You might be doing things that scream low self-esteem without even knowing it.

In this article, we’ll shine a light on these silent signals. I’ll guide you through ’10 things you don’t realize you’re doing because you have low self-esteem’.

Let’s get started.

1) Being overly apologetic

You know that little habit you have? Constantly saying “sorry” even when there’s absolutely no need for an apology?

It is a common trait among those with low self-esteem.

Apologizing excessively often stems from the fear of offending others or being perceived negatively. It might feel like you’re being polite, but in reality, it’s an automatic response driven by insecurity.

Remember, not every situation warrants an apology. It’s crucial to understand that asserting your thoughts and actions doesn’t always equate to being offensive.

If you notice this habit in your daily conversations, it may be a sign of low self-esteem. Recognize it, and remember – you deserve to occupy space and express yourself without guilt.

But hey, don’t be too hard on yourself. We’re all works in progress, right?

2) Shying away from compliments

Let me share a little story.

A few years ago, after finishing a project at work, a colleague came up to me and said, “Hey, that was some fantastic work you did there!” Instead of saying a simple thank you, I found myself downplaying the whole thing, replying, “Oh it wasn’t much… anyone could have done it.”

Sound familiar?

This inability to gracefully accept compliments is another sneaky indicator of low self-esteem. Those with low self-esteem often feel unworthy of praise and may even feel uncomfortable when they receive it.

If you find yourself deflecting compliments or attributing your achievements to luck or other people’s efforts, it’s time to rethink. Remember, it’s not just about recognizing your worth but also allowing others to acknowledge it.

Accepting a compliment doesn’t mean you’re arrogant. It means you know your value and aren’t afraid to embrace it. Trust me, it’s an empowering feeling when you do!

3) Constant self-criticism

Interestingly, the human brain is wired to pay more attention to negative experiences than positive ones. This is a phenomenon psychologists refer to as “negativity bias”.

For those with low self-esteem, this bias can often translate into a habit of constant self-criticism. You might find yourself focusing on your failures rather than your successes, or dwelling on your mistakes rather than acknowledging your accomplishments.

This constant inner critic can be exhausting and can further dent your self-esteem. It’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes and has flaws. The key is to learn from these experiences, not use them as ammunition against yourself.

Next time you catch yourself in a loop of self-criticism, try to counter it with some positive self-talk instead. It might seem strange at first, but it can make a world of difference.

4) Overcompensating through perfectionism

Perfectionism is often misunderstood as a positive trait. But in reality, it can be a double-edged sword.

For those battling low self-esteem, striving for perfection can be a way of overcompensating. It’s an attempt to cover up feelings of inadequacy by setting and achieving impossibly high standards.

Perfectionism can not only breed dissatisfaction but also lead to burnout. It’s like constantly chasing a mirage, an elusive image of flawlessness that doesn’t exist.

It’s okay to aim high, but it’s also important to celebrate your efforts along the way, not just the end result.

5) Difficulty in saying no

Ever found yourself agreeing to something you really didn’t want to do, just because you couldn’t muster up the courage to say no?

For those with low self-esteem, saying no can be a real challenge. There’s often a fear of disappointing others or being seen as uncooperative. It’s like being caught in a constant tug-of-war between your own needs and the fear of letting others down.

Setting boundaries is not only healthy, it’s necessary. Saying no doesn’t make you a bad person. In fact, it shows that you value your own time and energy.

6) Seeking constant validation

We all seek validation to some extent. It’s part of being human. We want our feelings acknowledged, our efforts appreciated.

But when you constantly seek validation from others to feel good about yourself, it could be a sign of low self-esteem. You might find yourself bending over backwards to please others or looking for constant reassurance that you’re doing okay.

I want you to know, it’s okay to need reassurance sometimes. But it’s also important to learn how to validate yourself.

Your worth isn’t determined by others’ opinions or approval. You are enough, just as you are.

When you find yourself craving for external validation, take a moment. Breathe. Remind yourself of your worth, your strengths, and your accomplishments. You’ll be surprised how much strength you can draw from within.

7) Avoiding risks and challenges

I once turned down a wonderful opportunity to lead a project at work. It was a chance to grow and learn, but all I could see were the potential pitfalls and my own perceived inadequacies.

If you find yourself regularly avoiding risks or challenges, it might be due to low self-esteem. We fear failure so much that we don’t even give ourselves the chance to try.

But here’s the thing – growth often happens outside of our comfort zones. Yes, taking on challenges can be scary, but it’s also an opportunity to learn, grow, and build resilience.

When you’re faced with a challenge or an opportunity that scares you, think about it. Is it genuinely not right for you, or are you letting fear and self-doubt hold you back?

8) Overly agreeable

Agreeing with others, even when your opinion differs, may seem like a way to avoid conflict and keep the peace.

But did you know this could be a sign of low self-esteem?

Being overly agreeable often stems from a fear of rejection or a desire to be liked. However, it can lead to a loss of individuality and self-expression.

It’s okay to have different views. It’s okay to voice your opinions. Your thoughts and feelings are just as valid as anyone else’s.

Whenyou find yourself nodding along to something you disagree with, pause. Consider sharing your viewpoint. You might be surprised by the respect and understanding you receive in return.

9) Negative self-talk

“Am I good enough? Why can’t I be more like them? I’m such a failure.”

These are all examples of negative self-talk, and they’re a common symptom of low self-esteem.

Negative self-talk can be incredibly damaging, reinforcing your deepest fears and insecurities. It’s like having a bully inside your mind, constantly tearing you down.

But remember, just because you think something doesn’t make it true. Challenge these thoughts. Replace them with positive affirmations.

Instead of “I can’t do this,” try “I’ll do the best I can.” Instead of “I’m a failure,” say “I learn from my mistakes.”

Changing the way you talk to yourself can make a significant difference in boosting your self-esteem. And remember, you wouldn’t talk negatively to someone you care about, so why do it to yourself?

10) Not prioritizing self-care

At the heart of it all, low self-esteem often leads us to neglect our own needs. We put others first, forgetting that we too deserve care and attention.

Not prioritizing self-care is more than just skipping a spa day. It’s about not giving importance to your mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing.

But here’s the truth – you matter. Your needs matter. And taking care of yourself is not selfish, it’s necessary.

So start today. Do something that nourishes your soul. Read a book, go for a walk, indulge in your favourite meal, meditate. Prioritize self-care and watch how it sparks a positive change in your self-perception.

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