'Marriage is not a game': Bishop in São Tomé and Príncipe denounces infidelity

ACI Africa, Sep 3, 2025 / 11:45 am (CNA).

Bishop João de Ceita Nazaré of the Diocese of São Tomé e Príncipe has expressed concern over the growing crisis of family life, warning that widespread marital infidelity in male spouses is leaving painful scars on women, children, and the very fabric of society.

São Tomé e Príncipe is the second-smallest and second-least populous African sovereign state after Seychelles. It is located in the Gulf of Guinea, off the west coast of Africa. 

In a Aug. 31 homily at the diocese’s Holy Trinity Parish, Nazaré, lamented that many couples have forgotten the value of their marriage vows.

“Marriage is not a game. It is a sacred mission,” he said. “Our families are wounded, destroyed, deceived, and left adrift because many have already forgotten the value of the word given at the altar.”

He continued: “The family crisis is today one of the greatest spiritual and social challenges of the Santomean community, and marital betrayal has left deep scars on women, children, and the very social structure.”

“Our married women are dying. They die inside; they die of abandonment; they die because they gave everything of themselves and were left with nothing,” Nazaré bemoaned. “Fidelity in marriage is not only a Christian virtue but an essential condition for the stability of society.”

The bishop said “many of the wounds we see in families today stem from the emotional and spiritual disorganization of couples.” 

For him, “the wives who cry today did everything to keep their homes: They carried rice, sold fish, washed clothes, helped build the house, and today they are abandoned.” 

“This suffering is real. We hear mothers say they no longer know what they are worth; children who tell their mothers to their faces: ‘You are good for nothing.’ This is not only ingratitude. It is the result of a broken family structure,” the bishop said. 

He denounced marital infidelity, describing it as a “silent social wound that slowly disintegrates the family and spiritual fabric.” 

“We have families built on lies. The husband has two women, and neither of them knows she is being betrayed. Or she knows but endures it because she fears being alone. And the children? They grow up in confusion. They grow up without an example,” Nazaré lamented.

“How can we want a strong youth if the model we give them is one of lies, abandonment, and wounds?” he said.

The 51-year-old bishop also spoke of the role of women in the family and in the Church, referring to Mary, the Mother of Jesus, as a model of humility, service, and dedication. 

“Mary did not disappear. She ran to serve. She carried the Son of God in her womb, but she never exalted herself. So too are our mothers. When they are faithful, they uphold the world. But today, many have been betrayed, wounded, forgotten. We need to once again recognize the value of women, of wives, of mothers. They are not replaceable,” he said.

On the responsibility of men — especially fathers, husbands, and godfathers — he noted that “to be a real man is not to collect relationships but to keep your heart in one place: with your wife and children.” 

He denounced the behaviour of those who, he said, “lie, cheat, and then show up in church with the face of saints.” 

For Nazaré, “the true Christian is the one who lives his faith at home, at work, and in marriage. You cannot be a Christian on Sunday and unfaithful on Monday.”

He appealed for the reconstruction of the family as the foundation of society and of Christian faith, warning that “if we want to change this country, we must start at home. Start by being faithful, truthful, and honest.”

“The Church can preach a thousand sermons, but if couples are not faithful, the children will continue to grow up wounded. Let us not allow betrayal, lies, and selfishness to destroy what God has united in love,” Nazaré said in his homily.

This article was originally published by ACI Africa, CNA’s news partner in Africa, and has been adapted for CNA.

Source: https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/266325/marriage-is-not-a-game-bishop-in-sao-tome-and-principe-denounces-infidelity