Weren’t the grownups meant to be back in charge?

Britain is a bastion of stability again. As Europe pivots right, America regresses, and Putin menaces the world, our happy home is sane once more. The unmentionables are out of government, the untouchables on the back foot, and the unquestionables in the ascendency. The Financial Times is bullish. Andrew Marr says the money’s pouring in. Brussels is fluttering its lashes at us. Olympic opening ceremonies, the height of cultural sophistication, are en vogue once more. The serenity is palpable. The swagger unstoppable. Yes folks, the twenties, slightly later than billed, are roaring again: the grownups are back in charge.

There may have been some trying times of late, but I think we can all agree (put that down) that we can see the improvements already. A sensible approach to government (I said down) has been sorely lacking, but now we have a prime minister and chancellor (indoor voices, please) who understand (is that smoke?) what needs to be done (can you not use that word?) to get the economy back on track, (that’s definitely smoke) provide a more progressive approach to solving crime (call 999) and create a fair, compassionate immigration system (I think we need to leave) that serves both the interests of the labour market (the door’s locked!) and shelters the world’s (break it down!) most vulnerable (*muffled screams*).

The whole piece is well worth reading as a good, solid dose of deserved sarcasm directed at the ridiculous beings who would rule over us.

In the aftermath of the Southport knife attack, Downing Street and Parliament were lit up in pink lights — lighting now considered a more subdued, tasteful gesture to the garish approach of spontaneously breaking into a chorus of “Don’t Look Back in Anger” when something truly horrific has happened to small children. That was supposed to be the end of it. The subsequent violence, and howls of anguish from the wings, has highlighted just how unsettled, and out of control, the grown ups really are. Out have come the usual suggestions — send in the army! Censor the internet! Bring back emergency covid measures! Anything, other than addressing the problems themselves.