The Lanyard Made Flesh

The malignant mediocrity of managerialism

A country ruled by lawyers and HR managers will be culturally dessicated and politically sclerotic

It is one of history’s ironies that the House of Commons voted to slash trials by jury on the same day as the House of Lords voted finally to expel the last remaining hereditary peers from Parliament.

It was the hereditary barons of England who forced King John to agree that “No Freeman shall be taken or imprisoned, or be disseised of his Freehold, or Liberties, or free Customs, or be outlawed, or exiled, or any other wise destroyed; nor will We not pass upon him, nor condemn him, but by lawful judgment of his Peers…” The barons have gone, and so have our ancient liberties, and both on the same day. Only the bishops still sit in that ancient council, heirs of Stephen Langton, the Archbishop of Canterbury who led the barons against the king in 1215. They are unlikely to be removed right now because no Labour leader with any sense would remove 26 cast-iron supporters from the upper house.

There is something more than historical timing that links these two decisions. They both reflect the belief that the only people trusted to make decisions are those who have been properly credentialled and have been authorised by people like us. If you want to know who the “us” is, look at who dominates the Labour Party, the Civil Service, the National Trust, the Church of England, and every other institution of note. A world run for and by a managerial legalistic caste, in which it is impossible to rise, or even survive, if you do not submit to their marks of authority, mediated by speaking the right language, submitting to the right training, earning the right credentials. Deep mediocrity calls to deep mediocrity, and proof of it only comes with a certificate.

The whole piece is well worth reading for the entertaining way it scythes through the desperate mediocrity of our governing classes.

This whole reform is a consequence of having Keir Starmer — the Lanyard Made Flesh — sitting in Number 10. Of course the man who once headed the Crown Prosecution Service believes only lawyers should be involved in judging crime; of course he doesn’t trust any old widow, tramp, salesman, student, business woman, or golf club gardener to try a person for their liberty. How could he? He has been trained and has the certificates for it, they have not. Law is something done to people not by people.