LOLCNN: Federal Employees Are In Bedlam Over Musk Email

Did CNN really think about this before publishing it? Because I thought it was from a satire site when I ran across it on Yahoo News first.

‘It’s bedlam’: Federal workers left in limbo as clock ticks down to Musk’s email deadline

Federal workers spent Monday trying to figure out how – or even whether – to respond to Elon Musk’s weekend email blast telling them to explain their work last week or risk losing their job.

A day of confusing and often contradictory guidance left many federal workers still unclear ultimately how to handle Musk’s request. Some were told to comply, others were advised not to, and still others were awaiting instructions from their agency’s leaders until late in the day.

Speaking from the Oval Office on Monday afternoon, President Donald Trump called Musk’s email demand “ingenious” and said that anyone who didn’t respond is “semi-fired or fired.”

Then, a couple of hours later, Trump’s own administration directly contradicted him, when the Office of Personnel Management formally notified agencies that response was voluntary and that any failure to respond would “not equate to a resignation.”

“Our chief said it was mandatory. Then OPM said it became voluntary. Then I guess Trump just told us it was mandatory again,” said one career employee with the Department of Veterans Affairs. “No one knows who is in charge and who to listen to.”

“It’s bedlam,” added one IRS employee.

Do federal employees not realize that Americans working in the private sector a laughing at them? Speaking derogatorily about them? Have zero sympathy? It’s 5 things. Over the course of a week. If you cannot think of 5 things you did last week and write it in 5 quick bulletin points then you aren’t really doing anything. It is not hard. Not hard at all.

The leftover bosses in the Permanent Federal Bureaucracy do not need to confuse things. How about finding out what your employees are doing? It’s rather your job. If this was the private sector there would be a lot of people on the chopping block for the inability to come up with 5 things, and for fighting against it. It really was brilliant to make this requirement, because it shows just how unhinged and intransigent the federal bureaucracy is. They live in a completely different world from the rest of Americans.

Not too belabor the point, if your boss, your bosses the boss, a person who assists the CEO, said “give me 5 quick things you did last week”, would you fight it? Or, would you jump on the computer and take 5 minutes to write the email and move on with your day?

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