Quick Reaction: Jurassic World Rebirth

I was given a $40 gift card for Regal theaters for my birthday, and, they didn’t have 28 Years Later at a convenient time, so I went to see Jurassic World Rebirth, went for the 3D version, which has nice reclining seats. Would I pay $17.95 for a 230pm showing (which had 25 minutes of ads and previews*)? Probably not. Seems a bit excessive, and might be why a lot of people bow out of going to the theater these days.

But, it was free to me, and, if you are going to see it, 3D is well worth it. The action wasn’t excessively crazy, and action was limited and shot in a way where 3D works. If you’ve ever seen the Brendan Frasier Journey To The Center Of The Earth, that worked. Beautiful scenery that makes 3D pop. If you saw The Avengers 3D, that didn’t: way too much happening, really didn’t have the right scenery.

Anyway, at a shade over 2 hours, you get your money’s worth and enjoyment. This pretty much straight adventure: the characters are meant to do something by going to an island with the dinosaurs. They go, things happen, more things happen. There’s dinos, cute, awe inspiring, and scary. The scenery is gorgeous. Breathtaking. Where they say the location is makes zero sense. Islands in the Atlantic/Caribbean do not look like that. If you know your geography you know that it had to be somewhere like Thailand, because that’s where it was filmed. That’s Ok, the scenery in 3D was fantastic.

The plot? Well, that’s pretty much it. Oh, and evil pharmaceutical company and employee (but, without trying to give anything away, are they? We don’t know if they are going to create what they say they are going to create just for the rich and powerful. Maybe they were just going to develop it and sell it for $10 a pop to everyone. They’d make a sh*tton of money doing that, too). There is no virtue signaling. No Woke. For liberals, no Conservative stuff. Nothing that will make you go “sigh”. It’s just a straight forward adventure.

So, is it a great movie? No. Is it a fun and watchable movie? One that you will finish watching and say “I’m glad I watched that”? Yes. There’s not a heck of a lot of depth to the characters, who are all great actors/actresses, but, there was good chemistry. The story just moves along without side quests and introspection. Roger Ebert ends his review with

And there are some sporadic joys here in the clever sight gags, the sleight of hand, the bait and switch. These moments remind us of the mindless summertime excitement the “Jurassic” movies have long provided, albeit with diminishing returns. But that giant footprint just isn’t as imposing as it used to be.

Perhaps not as big a footprint, but, mindless summertime excitement movies are great, right? Commando. Predator. Jaws. The Goonies. Back To The Future. Pee Wee’s Big Adventure (was looking at summer 1985). Just fun movies.

I’m good with mindless summer entertainment. So, for watchability, I’ll give it 4 out of 5 stars.

Oh, and while I’m at it, Final Destination: Bloodlines

I made it halfway through and realized I was bored, the 2 kills were dumb, it wasn’t scary, and turned it off. I’m sorry, but, so many of these Gen Z actors/actresses are boring. They have barely any facial or body language, other than frowning/squinting, and almost no voice inflection. They do not drag me into the movie. There is not charisma. This applies to most of the “stars”. Other than Millie Bobby Brown, they are boring, and cannot compare to previous generations in their 20s. The garbage truck was idiotic. It grabs one of the kiddies in a can, dumps in truck. Then the truck just …. moves on, drives down road, doesn’t stop to pick up other cans? Really? Dad gets a running lawnmower dropped on his head and there’s a freakout like someone spilled a glass of tea. So, it’s a 1 out of 5 for watchability. Just trash.

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