Climate Doom Threatens Christmas Classics Or Something

Which is more annoying, the hate ICE stuff in manger displays or climate cultists thinking global boiling is the reason for the season?

Climate Change Is Threatening Christmas Classics

As snowflakes fall lazily from the sky, you cozy up by the fireplace and take a sip from a steaming cup of hot chocolate, humming the jaunty songs you can’t seem to get out of your head the entire month of December.

But as temperatures rise, this quintessential winter holiday scene is transforming (in the Northern Hemisphere at least). The snowstorm you were picturing is actually more likely to be a chilly rain in many areas. Cocoa crops around the world are failing, making chocolate drinks and desserts increasingly expensive. Global warming is even coming for Rudolph, recent research shows.

Climate change is threatening Christmas and winter traditions—and in some cases, holiday trends are fueling it.

Christmas Crops: Holiday spirit in December is underpinned by a multitude of global supply chains churning throughout the year. And I’m not just talking about markets that support presents like clothes and electronics; many of the most lucrative Christmas commodities are grown.

So, to save you time, chocolate, Christmas trees, and reindeer are doomed

Meanwhile, Frosty the Snowman and the white Christmas you may be dreaming of are also disappearing amid rapid warming. The chances of having at least one inch of snow on Christmas Day—the metric for what the National Weather Service deems a “white Christmas”—are “gradually decreasing across the Southern United States, and this trend is slowly moving north,” according to the federal government. It’s important to note that snow was never that common on Christmas Day for many states, Time magazine reports.

I’m shocked that this would happened during a typical Holocene warm period during an inter-glacial period. These people are just nuts. Can’t they just be cultists within their own little circle, like other cults?

Will the Song “White Christmas” Become a Clarion Call for Climate Change Action?

As each Christmas approaches, one song permeates the airwaves across the United States and elsewhere: White Christmas. According to the Guiness Book of World Records, “White Christmas” is the #1 selling physical single of all times with over 50 million copies sold.

Many know those iconic opening lyrics:

“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas,
Just like the ones I used to know.”

This American holiday classic, written by Irving Berlin and recorded by Bing Crosby in 1942 during the depths of World War II, conveyed in its time the nostalgia of a simpler past and the hope for a better future.

But contexts change and, with them, so can meanings. Today, we face a new and different type of global menace, severe climate change which, according to a recent World Economic Forum report, could result in an additional 14.5 million deaths and $12.5 trillion in economic losses by 2050.

These same people surely whine about Christmas displays in public spaces, but, also take long, fossil fueled trips for Christmas.