75 US Deportees To End Up On Tiny Island In Cash Deal With Local Rulers

In the Trump administration’s latest display of creativity when it comes to unloading unwanted immigrants, the United States has made a deal with the rulers of the tiny Pacific island nation of Palau, which will take 75 rejected migrants off Uncle Sam’s hands in exchange for $100,000 per head. The deportees in question will be a diverse group, but they’ll likely share one thing in common — none of them are from Palau, or ever heard of it.  

Palau will serve as a small relief valve for situations where a migrant’s home country refuses to take them back. “Palau and the United States signed a Memorandum of Understanding allowing up to 75 third country nationals, who have never been charged with a crime, to live and work in Palau, helping address local labor shortages in needed occupations,” said Palauan President Surangel Whipps in a statement. 

Located in the Pacific region of Micronesia, Palau comprises some 350 tiny coral and volcanic islands, with a population of only 18,000. It was administered by the US government from World War II to 1994, when it became independent. However, it has maintained close relations with America via an arrangement called “free association,” which lets Palauans work, live or study in the United States — but we’re guessing that privilege won’t be extended to the 75 deportees. Palau also uses the US dollar as its currency, and its mail is delivered by the USPS.

The cash-for-unwanted-migrants deal was opposed by Palau’s legislature. “We strongly advise against proceeding further on this matter,” said the leaders of both houses in a joint letter. “We cannot afford to overpromise or commit to something we cannot fulfill.”  Palau’s advisory Council of Chiefs firmly objected too, similarly concerned that the island chain already has enough challenges on its hands without having to assimilate 75 deportees from who-knows-where speaking who-knows-what languages: 

“Our position has not been an easy one to reach because the request comes to us from our number one ally, the U.S. We are certain, however, that our best friend understands our precarious and fragile situation as a tiny island nation seeking to exist in this complex world.”

Palau’s president plunged ahead anyway, after trying to reassure skeptics by saying, “These are not criminals. Their only offense was entering the United States illegally and working without proper permits.” Beyond raking in $7.5 million from the United States for “public service and infrastructure needs” associated with handling the newcomers, Palau will also get a $6 million injection “to prevent collapse of the civil service pension plan,” plus another $2 million for law enforcement initiatives.  

Palau is a regular beneficiary of US wealth transfers, and a hefty 12% of Palau’s GDP comes from US and other foreign aid. Not coincidentally, Palau is one of four tiny, inconsequential Pacific states that routinely join the US in voting against anti-Israel resolutions at the UN; the others are Micronesia, Marshall Islands and Nauru. 

Palau joins a small handful of third-world nations who’ve either agreed to take third-country deportees from the United States, or are deliberating that pitch — among them, Eswatini, Rwanda, South Sudan and Uganda. Unlike Palau, the tiny African kingdom of Eswatini has accepted violent illegal immigrants, whom a senior US Homeland Security official described as “so uniquely barbaric that their home countries refused to take them back.” 

The Trump administration’s “safe third-country” agreements create a novel and amusing deterrent for illegal immigrants and bogus asylum-seekers — a veritable roulette wheel that could have them waking up in the middle of the Pacific Ocean and playing their own version of “Survivor.”