Staring Me in the Face

Theology and Politics from a Conservative, Biblical Perspective

Not long ago, I wrote an article titled Seeing Jesus.[1] I talked about several things including how we Christians need to realize that we can (and should) see aspects of Jesus’ character in other believers mainly because of two things: First, He lives within all believers via the Holy Spirit as a guarantee of our salvation (John 14:17; 1 Corinthians 6:19–20; Titus 3:5; 2 Peter 1:4; Colossians 1:27, etc.). Second, the Holy Spirit recreates the character of Jesus within each believer over a lifetime. In essence, we are slowly, over time becoming more and more like Him until we arrive to eternity and finally shed our current sin natures and are given glorified bodies. For more biblical information on the purpose of the indwelling Holy Spirit, please see this article on Got Questions.[2]

So consider the fact that when we get together with other believers in His Name, we are fellowshipping not only with them, but with Jesus in them (Matthew 18:20). This is extremely important and while I fully realize and understand that some Christians cannot find a true Bible-believing, Christ-centered church in their area, it is still incumbent upon them to seek out other true believers for some form of fellowship, even if only for dinner and sharing a bit of the Word. We are not meant to go it alone in this life anymore than we will be going it alone in heaven.

In another article I wrote a few weeks back titled Burdens We Unnecessarily Carry[3], I spoke of my own upbringing and how my parents’ volatility had a major negative impact on my outlook and thinking. After I became a Christian, I tended to think of God the way I thought of and reacted to my parents. I ascribed to Him the personality traits that my own parents had, which was certainly unfair because it is wrong.

Because of this, I have spent a good portion of my adult Christian life shying away from Jesus while at the same time, desperately wanting to draw closer to Him. It was a constant push-pull situation very similar to the way I often reacted to my parents because of the way they reacted to life itself, one another and my sister and me. A good deal of my growing up years was filled with tension and so, to counteract it, I became a comedian, always trying to lighten the tone and atmosphere in the house. Sometimes it worked, but most of the time it did not.

So here I am at 68 continuing to react to situations in a way that does not glorify Him. I always come around to straightening myself out and apologizing where needed, but in reality, I have longed for something better and I have never understood why, after all these years as a believer, I haven’t reached it.

Oh sure, I can see there has been growth as I look back over the years, but not good enough and not quickly enough. Have I been that resistant to the Holy Spirit within me? It wasn’t until just yesterday morning I realized why.

I work for a local company part-time where I drive a dump truck when it’s not raining and deliver meat or pick up processed cows from the slaughter house using their refrigerator truck. This morning, I had three deliveries that took about five and a half hours total by the time I finished.

During this time, I again prayed to God wanting to know why it was so difficult for me to appreciate who He is and why I was constantly ascribing to Him a character and personality that were not His, but more closely resembled my parents? In short, why was there such a difficulty in seeing Him as gracious, loving, compassionate, lowly and gentle as the Bible describes Him? What I was amazed at was how the answer began to dawn on me and for the first time in years, I began to realize there was a very reachable solution for me and it was right in front of me.

Before I get into that, I can show you places in Scripture that tell us of His unfailing love, mercy and compassion. I can point out where He tells us that His anger against believers who sin (all of us), is short-lived and for disciplinary purposes. In fact, He continues to hold out His open arms welcoming all who will come to Him in faith from the world of the lost. The example that He provides with Israel is a case in point and shows His longsuffering. It also shows that even when He must resort to discipline, He doesn’t enjoy it and would end it in a moment if the rebellious party would simply turn to Him in genuine repentance. This applies not only to Israel, but to all true Christians living now.

‘Return, backsliding Israel,’ says the Lord;
‘I will not cause My anger to fall on you.
For I am merciful,’ says the Lord;
‘I will not remain angry forever. (Jeremiah 3:12)

How gracious is that? So I am aware of how God continues to reach out to people and nations in an attempt to bring them to Him as well as with believers who are backslidden. But what has always gotten in my way is the fact that I have placed the template of my parents over God so that when I speak to Him or think of Him, I tend to see the imperfections of my parents. I have been ascribing to Him something that is not at all true. He is not like my parents. He is not like any other human with their faults and failures.

The LORD is gracious and full of compassion, Slow to anger and great in mercy. (Psalm 145:8)

If He is slow to anger, exercising graciousness and filled with compassion and mercy, then how am I continually making the mistake of not seeing Him as He truly is when it comes to my relationship with Him? This morning I received my answer, which slowly, quietly, and consistently filled me with a far greater understanding of God than I had understood before, where my mistake had been created and He showed me how to overcome that error.

The solution? To replace that wrong character that I was assigning to Him with something far better, but what? I didn’t live when Jesus lived. I never saw Him walk this earth and interact with people. I never heard His voice or watch Him weep over people or heal them or see the love in His facial expressions for them. I can read about it in His Word and wait for God to bring it alive to me. But there is something that is possibly a close second that Christians can embrace and benefit from now.

The answer has been staring me in the face for roughly 40 years and I just actually truly saw it yesterday morning as I was driving country roads from one destination to the next. I am grateful for this revelation, which shows me that God truly does care, is actually filled with compassion for us and does give us the desires of our hearts.

My wife is a wonderful, caring person. I have seen her forgive people and treat them with kindness when they’ve wronged her. I have witnessed her gentle and lowly nature and her consistency in dealing with people who are like porcupines. I have watched as she has put up with me over the years and I’ve seen how quickly and seemingly easy she forgives me. Believe me when I say I have given her many reasons to forgive me over the years and she has always forgiven me when I’ve treated her less than the way she deserves to be treated. Yet, I’ve never thought of her in terms of Jesus’ character being recreated and expressed from within her. I always simply thought that was her personality. While it is her personality in part, it is also strong evidence of the Holy Spirit working within her to recreate the image of God the Son.

My faithful, wonderful wife has consistently portrayed the gentle nature of our Savior. She’s been in my life for years, showcasing His love, His forgiveness, His consistency, His servant heart, His helpfulness and more. I know my wife is not perfect because she has a sin nature like me and she needs Jesus as much as I do. But she has Him within and her character is more obviously like Jesus’ character than mine is in me.

Here’s what I’m saying…we actually can see the character of our Lord in other believers to a small or great degree (depending on the person), if we will look for it. Sometimes, it stares us in the face for 40 years without us knowing it. While I’ve always loved my wife and will continue to love her, I’ve simply not noticed that Jesus lives within her and is expressing His character through her to other people and me. I’ve always seen her as pleasant, sweet, loving and attractive. Yes, she is those things and some of those things may be due to her own innate personality. However, it seems ultimately very clear to me that since she is a believer and Jesus does live within her because of the Holy Spirit, He is clearly expressing His character through her personality. He wants to do that with every believer. Some of us offer more roadblocks to Him unfortunately.

Isn’t this what Paul meant in Philippians 4:9?

What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

There it is. Paul says what the Philippians have learned, received, heard and seen in him, they should also put into practice. He understood what I’m telling you about the character of Jesus within other believers. Paul lived it (though of course not perfectly; Romans 7:15). Paul knew that Jesus’ character was not only being recreated in him, but came out in the way he dealt with other people and in his relationship with God in Christ. He encouraged other believers to pursue the same thing.

So what is my solution to my dilemma regarding how I have spent years seeing God? It’s actually quite simple though it will take time to develop this new habit and replacing the old one. Because I now more fully understand that Jesus lives within my wife and expresses His character through her personality, I can begin the process of creating the habit that essentially creates within me a new, far more accurate picture of Jesus. This is done by focusing more on my wife’s reaction to things, situations, people and even me and learning from her rather than focusing on how my parents reacted to things when they were alive.

Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not elevating my wife to some deified status (she would hate that). I’m simply recognizing (and I think she would agree), that God is at work in her life to recreate His image and character and that character comes out of her far easier than it comes out of me because of her upbringing and her native personality.

Looking back over the past year or so I can actually see where I’ve done this exchange to see Jesus more accurately without realizing that’s what I was doing. It would happen sporadically here and there and this peace that passes all understanding would overwhelm me. Then it would go away, removed by a situation and I could not understand why or how to get that peace back.

I have now come to believe that we can learn a good deal from other Christians and the way the Holy Spirit is recreating the character and nature of our Lord in them. I think this is part of what Paul meant in Romans 1:12.

11 For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift, so that you may be established— 12 that is, that I may be encouraged together with you by the mutual faith both of you and me.

When I think of God or talk to Him, I can now begin to see Him as Someone who actually enjoys being in my presence, Someone who exercises an extreme amount of patience, Someone whose compassion is so strong that there is nothing about Him that would push me away. I no longer have to see Him as if He reacts to me as my mother and father did when I was growing up. He is truly gentle and lowly and these traits are two very important traits that the Holy Spirit is developing in every believer. We will see it more pronounced in some believers than others but it is there to some degree. You probably find yourself gravitating toward other believers who exercise these traits because the traits themselves make you feel welcome. You may not even understand the full ramifications of why you’re so drawn to them.

It is amazing to me how long it can take to break chains that have kept us bound. Why? I don’t know and it can be different for each person. I’m guessing at least some of it has to do with how we were raised, the conditions in the home and our own innate personalities.

This may or may not be earthshaking news to readers, but it is drastically changing the way I view God. He wants is to come to Him with everything and anything. He has the time and wants us to understand and experience His pity, His compassion and His love. He wants us to see Him as He is, as described in Scripture, not based on some faulty understanding we have because of how we might have been raised.

14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we profess. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who was tempted in every way that we are, yet was without sin. 16 Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (Hebrews 4:14-16)

It is because He lived as a human being (and continues living that way even though He now has the glory He had prior to the incarnation), and was tested in all things as we are, yet without sin, that He welcomes us to come before Him with every care, every concern and we should do so with confidence (boldly). He will not shun us, cast us away or make us feel unwanted. He will embrace us, deal with us gently and care for our spiritual and emotional wounds, just as the angels cared for Him on the night He was betrayed in the Garden of Gethsemane.

There appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening Him. And being in an agony he prayed even more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down on the ground. (Luke 22:43–44)

My father was often unapproachable. He was tense or even angry much of the time. When he wasn’t noticeably angry, he could become angry in an instant. He was not at all satisfied with life and neither was my mother. They also both had similar personalities so they butted heads often. I’m not blaming them. I’m simply noting what they were like. I know they loved me but too often that love was from a distance and it didn’t take much to raise their ire toward me if I did something wrong, so it often kept me at arm’s length.

I have spent too many years thinking this is the way God relates to me as well. I’ve been desperately wrong, which proves that you can have three degrees in Bible, write numerous books and still not grasp who Jesus is and the actual love, compassion and pity He has for us.

I cannot tell you why it has taken me this long to begin to see how my own error in viewing God has impacted me and the way out of it. All I know is that I am now seeing the way forward and when in doubt, I can look at my wife as an example of Christ in her and how she handles the many things in life that come her way. I can now notice her reactions to see love in action.

My wife will read this and likely be embarrassed. Yet the truth is that she has something that benefits me, that helps me understand who Jesus is because of the work that He has done and continues to do in her. I’m grateful for that and want that to become part of my view of His character, in order to emulate that in my life, even though her personality and mine are completely different personalities.

What was your upbringing like? What habits did you create based on your home life? When you finally became a Christian, did you carry over to your Christian life the traits and habits that existed in your life when you were not saved? You probably did and I can tell you that God wants you free from them; utterly free. He is not like your parents no matter how bad or great they were.

One of the best ways to do that is to begin to see Jesus in other believers. This is the wonderful benefit of discipleship, which is something I never had. As we begin to see His character in others, we are more naturally drawn to them and to wanting those same character traits created in us.

The more we are around authentic believers, watching them interact and walk in this world, the more we will notice the wonderful gentle and lowly character of our Lord and we will find ourselves wanting that developed in us as He is developing those traits in them. Many of us learn by seeing and can then incorporate what we see in our own lives, by the strength of the indwelling Holy Spirit.

Fellowshipping with other believers allows us to see Jesus in them. It allows us to see how Jesus responds to us when we see other people responding as He responds. This is how it works in the Church today.

It would be nice if we could all get into a time machine and go back to the time of Jesus to watch Him, hear Him, walk with Him and be loved by Him. We cannot do that and so of course, we have the Bible. But often, those are words on a page even though we know that His Word is living and active (Hebrews 4:12).

I’m a visual learner. If I see it, I remember it. Fortunately for me, God shows me His traits He is creating within the lives of other believers. I’ve simply never really understood this before. I guess it’s better late than never, but maybe the Lord will help me make great gains in this area before He takes me home.

Do you want to see Jesus? We all would, but He is not here physically. However, the next best thing is to see His lowly, gentle, loving, forgiving nature in the lives of other believers. That’s what we have in this life.

Reach for that.

[1] https://www.gotquestions.org/indwelling-of-the-Holy-Spirit.html

[2] https://studygrowknowblog.com/2025/07/01/seeing-jesus/

[3] https://studygrowknowblog.com/2025/05/19/burdens-we-unnecessarily-carry/

Theology and Politics from a Conservative, Biblical Perspective

Source: https://studygrowknowblog.com/2025/08/08/staring-me-in-the-face/