The Israel / Hamas war is over!!!

I did it! Me! I ended the war! No one else could have done it! Hamas has agreed to complete disarmament. No, Israel’s bombing of Gaza wasn’t a factor. It was me! I did it.

There are just a few minor technical details to resolve
A senior Israeli official has said troops will not pull back from their current positions in Gaza without the “genuine disarmament” of Palestinian armed group Hamas in the territory. Hamas meanwhile said handing over its heavy weapons was contingent on Israel ending “all forms of aggression” and withdrawing its forces from Gaza. Israel has to leave Gaza forever and pay $1 trillion to Hamas every year for the next century. An Israeli official said Israel’s position remained that “there will be no withdrawal whatsoever of the IDF from the current Yellow Line unless Hamas undergoes a genuine disarmament”, referring to a military demarcation line agreed in the ceasefire. On Friday, Hamas issued a statement saying the first step towards an agreement would have to be a commitment by Israel “to stopping the killing and ending its attacks”. But within hours of Trump unveiling the deal, Gazan medical authorities said one Palestinian was killed, and several others had been wounded in at least two Israeli airstrikes and by gunfire in the enclave. Trump, who met Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu in Washington on Tuesday, said Israel was “very happy” about the deal. “Israel helped us, and they’ve been very good,” he said. Israeli media also reported that the government maintains that the Israeli military will retain control of the “Yellow Line” – a unilaterally imposed boundary that effectively places up to 70 percent of the Gaza Strip under tight Israeli control – and that no withdrawal will take place until Hamas has fully disarmed. Also, Netanyahu and his family must volunteer to throw a big party for Hamas, where they will serve pork chops and bacon as appetizers. Also, every new Jewish male must have his circumcision reversed, without painkillers, to show contrition. Also, Congress must reverse the 2020 election, where I was cheated out of the presidency. And Israel must allow Hamas to use the “Wailing Wall” for posters honoring Allah and me. And the Justice Department must destroy all records of me on Epstein’s island. Israel must pay for my big, beautiful arch. After these few little details are taken care of . . .

IT’S A DONE DEAL! Next, my Nobel Peace Prize.

Forget about Iran