For better or worse

What’s the best possible way of screwing up your finances?

Divorce, of course.

Just as couples are vastly stronger when two people come together to form an economic unit, so are they individually impoverished (mostly the guys, they believe) when that union breaks. Liquid assets are split, real estate refinanced or sold, alimony and support payments created. And lawyers. Oh, the lawyers.

The good news is Canada’s divorce rate has steadily declined for a few decades now. The bad news is that has nothing to do with love.

Marriage is less common, for starters. Younger people seem just as happy to cohabit and share some common expenses, but keep large swaths of their lives private from each other, even when they have kids. Weird.

At the same time common-law relationships are far more, well, common. While family law provisions offer protection when that tryst ends, these breakups are not litigated or counted in divorce stats.

Those who do marry are getting hitched later in life. Dorothy and I did it at 21 (and she had rebuffed me for two years before that). The average marrying age hit a record low of 25 in the Sixties, and is now 32. Getting married later in life has been proven to correlate with being less of a jerk, so marriage works better.

And, yes, the very cost of splitting itself is so punitive some couples figure it’s better to remain unhappy, bitter, angry, resentful, full of hate and harboring murderous thoughts, than to divorce. After all, it’s more affordable to have one household than two. What’s love got to do with it?

Now, despite all this, the divorce rate is still around 40% in Canada. The average Canadian marriage that fails does so after people have been together an average of 15.3 years. And the average age at which people get divorced is 46.

Why do marriages fail?

Screwing around, of course. That gets the headlines. But it’s not the most common reason trad unions end.

The main cause of divorce in Canada is money. Disagreement over finances are the leading reason people break up, and the most significant predictor of marital strife. When couples can’t agree on how much to spend, the level of savings, how to budget or handle debt, big problems follow. They seem to eclipse all else. Making it worse, and more inevitable, is when a married couple do not pool their assets or have joint investments and maintain separate bank accounts and run up credit card and other debt that is not disclosed or discussed.

Financial infidelity is just as bad (maybe worse) than the carnal kind. Spending irresponsibly destroys trust while it craters future security. When a wife squirrels away money in secret account or a husband receives an inheritance he refuses to share, it makes a partner wonder. Why? What’s the game plan? For what reason is my spouse keeping these funds separate?

So money stress can breed emotional angst and a breakdown in communications. Then it’s over.

In a lasting marriage, all is shared. Every shred. Every feeling. Every dollar. What starts as lust becomes love, then deep friendship and finally a trust that belies words. It takes time, patience and endless generosity. With a bond and commitment, money is secondary. Without them, money wins.

A new Royal LePage report claims eight in ten Canadians would rather spend their wedding money on a real estate downpayment.

Enough said.

About the picture: “Long-time reader, first-time dog poster,” writes Matt, in Calgary. “I wanted to introduce you to Fonzi (left) and Mazzy (right). Sadly, Fonzi passed away a few years back, and Mazzy just last week, leaving a big hole in our hearts. Fonzi loved chasing pinecones like it was his life’s mission, and Mazzy was always the first one ready for a backyard bonfire. I’d be honoured to have them memorialized on your blog — it would mean a lot to see them celebrated by a community that clearly loves dogs as much as I do. Thanks for everything you do.”

To be in touch or send a picture of your beast, email to ‘garth@garth.ca’.

Source: https://www.greaterfool.ca/2026/05/22/for-better-or-worse/