Top Harvard Professor Alison Wood Brooks: The Psychology of Why People Don't Like You! (Video)

Why do your conversations keep going wrong?

In this 15 December 2025 published video, host Steven Bartlett talks with Harvard behavioural scientist Professor Alison Wood Brooks who reveals the secrets to better communication, real connection, negotiation skills and difficult conversations!

Professor Brooks has 2 decades of experience in conversational science. She teaches a Harvard course on negotiation and communication, and is the bestselling author of ‘Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves’.

She explains:

• The ONE word that transforms anxiety into peak performance
• The TALK framework for mastering any conversation
• Why being “too polite” is secretly destroying your relationships
• Why 99 percent of apologies fail, and the exact formula that works
• The question technique that creates connection with anyone

https://youtu.be/TYXzR5KahEg

• 00:00 Intro
• 02:20 People Need This to Communicate Well
• 04:24 Giving Wrong Impressions
• 06:09 Being a Better Speaker and Group Conversations
• 11:17 Experimenting With Communication Skills With My Identical Twin
• 12:26 The Science on How to Reframe Anxiety
• 18:33 If You’re Nervous, You’re More Likely to Make a Bad Decision
• 20:02 Asking for a Salary Raise
• 24:26 The Conversational Compass
• 32:31 How People Should Really Apologize and When It’s Too Much
• 37:17 The Validation Trick in Any Dispute
• 41:46 Don’t Do This When You Disagree
• 46:05 Stop Doing This During Disagreements
• 47:53 How to Be Liked
• 49:48 The T-A-L-K Framework
• 51:33 Easy Ways to Have More Casual Conversations
• 54:59 If You Want to Be Liked, Don’t Do This
• 59:10 The Importance of Asking in Conversations and Dates
• 01:03:13 Never Do This on a Date
• 01:07:13 The Meeting Mistake You Shouldn’t Make
• 01:09:14 Poor Communication Skills Might Be Holding Back Your Career
• 01:11:48 Ads
• 01:12:39 The Importance of Kindness in Any Conversation
• 01:17:06 When to Incorporate Levity
• 01:23:42 The Science Behind Introverts and Extroverts — Is It Real?
• 01:27:03 Your Contribution Score in a Conversation
• 01:41:46 Ads
• 01:43:42 The Male Crisis: Ask These Questions to Make Friends
• 01:52:43 10 Questions to Be Liked
• 01:56:29 How to Persuade People and Be a Better Salesperson
• 01:58:33 People Confuse Agreement With Listening
• 02:09:07 This Is the Only Conversation That Feels Real
• 02:14:44 What Happens When Replacing Myself With AI
• 02:19:09 Show Your Real Self at Work: Yes or No?
• 02:25:01 How to Teach Your Kids to Speak