She Blinded Me With Science

She Blinded Me With Science
Paul Dale Roberts, HPI’s Esoteric Detective
Halo Paranormal Investigations
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Email: jazmaonline@gmail.com
Sacramento Paranormal Haunted Hotline: 916 203 7503

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Many paranormal investigators enjoy spending a large amount of money for ghost hunting gadgets. When HPI (Halo Paranormal Investigations) heads out to an investigation, I allow my investigators to bring any type of ghost hunting equipment that they have. I, for one, do not believe in all of that hocus pocus gobbly gook lights flashing type of gadgets. There are only a few things I believe in, during a ghost hunt and I will explain that in this article. Sometimes you can get blinded by science and Thomas Dolby explains it well in his song…”She Blinded Me with Science.”

XBOX KINECT
Several of my investigators have the Xbox Kinect and every stick figure they see, they believe it’s a ghost. You will hear…”it’s right behind you, now it’s on your leg!” They are filled with excitement as the stickmen appear on their Xbox Kinect. The reason why I don’t consider the stick figures as evidence is because the Xbox Kinect (often rebranded by investigators as an SLS or structured light sensor camera) is not a reliable ghost-hunting device because its software is aggressively programmed to force human-like “skeleton” shapes out of random visual data and infrared noise. The device uses an infrared projector and camera to map a room in 3D and look specifically for human bodies. It is designed to prioritize false positives over missing a real player, meaning it actively tries to find a match even when no human is present. For gaming, guessing a skeleton shape is helpful; for investigations, it means the machine constantly invents people where there are none. The camera often mistakes chairs, coat racks, and boxes for human torsos or limbs. The Kinect expects to sit on a stable, flat surface. When ghost hunters carry it around in the dark, the shifting perspective tricks the tracking algorithm into misinterpreting background objects as moving figures. Furnished spaces bounce infrared light in unpredictable ways, creating random noise that the software tries to connect into a stick figure. If an investigator brings his or her Xbox Kinect, I will mention their results in my article and I will make it crystal clear that this is NOT considered as evidence. Yes…she blinded me with science!

EMF READER
An EMF (electromagnetic field) reader is often considered unreliable for paranormal investigation because it is easily triggered by normal environmental interference rather than anomalous activity. Devices like microwaves, refrigerators, hair dryers, and fans emit fluctuating alternating current (AC) magnetic fields. Electrical wiring inside walls, electrical cables under floors, and active power outlets constantly produce baseline electromagnetic fields. Cell phones, Wi-Fi routers, and Bluetooth devices emit radiofrequency signals that cause unshielded or inexpensive meters to register random spikes. Moving close to sensitive sensors or holding a single-axis meter incorrectly can alter the local electrostatic field and change readings. There is no proven scientific evidence that spirits or ghosts emit or manipulate electromagnetic fields. Many consumer-grade meters used in ghost hunting are inexpensive and unshielded, meaning they pick up ambient electrical noise rather than precise environmental data. Simple single-axis meters measure fields in only one direction at a time, requiring precise manual orientation to avoid missing or skewed data. Many of my paranormal investigators love gadgets and if the gadget is constantly shown on some popular paranormal TV show, my investigators run out and purchase it. Once again, she blinded me with science!

REM-POD
My investigators love their noisy light blinking REM-POD. Once again, I will be blinded by science! A REM-pod (Radiating Electromagnetism Pod) is unreliable as a ghost-hunting tool because it reacts to everyday environmental interferences and standard electronic signals rather than verified paranormal energy. A REM-pod radiates its own small electromagnetic field through an antenna and triggers lights or sounds when that field is disturbed. Mechanically, basic models function similarly to a mini-theremin or a modified proximity/door alarm. The device is extremely sensitive to cellular data, key-presses, and two-way radios like walkie-talkies, which easily set off false alarms. Ambient temperature shifts, physical vibrations, drafts, or low batteries can alter the surrounding field or sensor balance and cause false positives. As discussed in the Skeptical Inquirer analysis of the REM Pod, there is no established proof that ghosts possess physical or electromagnetic properties capable of interacting with electronics, nor do these devices log verifiable scientific data. Experts and investigators writing for outlets like The Independent note that these tools can be tripped by mundane causes or intentional manipulation. As you can see, I do NOT consider REM-POD evidence as evidence.

PSYCHIC MEDIUM
I utilize a psychic medium as a tool. If a psychic medium says there is a ghost in the bathroom, then it’s up to my paranormal investigators to prove that there is an actual ghost in the bathroom with either a Class A EVP or a photo of a full body apparition. Deanna Jaxine Stinson, a psychic medium, did a walk through and told me and the investigators that there was a ghost sitting on the couch. I told my investigators to take pictures of the couch and in one photo there was mist hovering over the couch. Deanna then says the ghost is now behind the couch and with 2 cameras, we capture a mist behind the couch. I was not able to re-create these images and in a case like this, I will deem it as paranormal. Deanna blinded me with science!

CAMERA
Orbs can almost be anything. It can be dust, skin flakes, light refractions, dew drops, lint, etc. But, if you see one particular orb moving in a strange way, up and down, sideways, in a Z pattern, etc. Then this might be paranormal. During one of my cases, Emily the ghost was known to drain the energy from my clients. During the investigation, one of my investigators says that he feels drained and needs to sit down. I wondered if Emily was doing this to him. I said out loud: “Emily, if you are listening to me, kiss him on the mouth!” With 3 cameras, we capture an orb on his mouth, showing intelligent movement. I then said: “Emily, if you are listening to me, sit on his lap!” We take a picture and there is an orb hovering over his lap. This shows intelligent movement and something like that I can deem as paranormal. And yes, she blinded me with science!

VIDEO CAMERA
If you can get a full body apparition on video or an orb showing intelligent movement on video, I will consider this as evidence!

DESIGNER ORBS
A designer orb is an orb with intricate designs inside the orb. People sometimes see faces in the design. There was a case that we had in Del Paso Heights, CA. I took a picture of the backyard and captured two large designer orbs. I enhanced the orbs in the photos and can see clearly two dog faces. I then called over one of my investigators and asked: “what do you see?” The investigator says: “Two dogs.” I took the photos to the client and asked her what do you have in your backyard, she says “orange trees”. I said: “Besides the orange trees, what else do you have back there?” She says: “my two dogs are buried back there.” I said: “what do you see in this photo?” The client starts crying and I said: “what are you crying about?” She says…”these are my two dogs!” Yes, something like that, I can definitely deem as paranormal.

DIGITAL VOICE RECORDER
When you get an EVP, make sure no one is around, so there are no background voices in the recording. One of the best EVPs I ever captured is when we investigated a very haunted cemetery in Folsom, CA. I went in my car, rolled up my window and drove to a secluded spot. I asked: “Is there anyone here?” I captured a Class A EVP that says in a male voice: “I’m right here!” Yes, something like that I can consider as evidence ONLY for me, because I have no witnesses who saw me capture the EVP, but I know in my heart that this was a real EVP and I was satisfied.

SPIRIT BOX
A spirit box is unreliable as a ghost-hunting tool because it rapidly sweeps through AM/FM radio frequencies, turning normal broadcast static and audio snippets into random noise that the human brain tries to make sense of. The device simply picks up overlapping fragments of real-world radio stations, music, and commercials traveling through the air. Humans naturally look for patterns in random sound. When a fragmented syllable matches an investigator’s question, listeners use confirmation bias to perceive a meaningful voice instead of random audio. Asking vague questions allows users to attach meaning to almost any stray noise or half-word emitted by the scanning tuner. There is no proven scientific basis or mechanism showing that disembodied spirits can manipulate radio frequency sweeps to communicate. When a Spirit Box is brought out, I am the first one to scoff. My investigators can play with their Spirit Box, but I will not allow it to be evidence.

LASER GRID PEN
In one case, I did see a human shadow cross through the grid and there was no one walking past the grid. Something like that I may consider it as paranormal. During my 2500 investigations, I only saw this happen one time. Another note, I have only seen 4 full body apparitions with my eyes and I have been on 2500 investigations. A full body apparition is a rarity.